Michael Jackson Memorial Service (yawn)

Here's what the Washington Post says will be the TV programming highlights for today. I've listed what I'll be doing during each segment.

PRE-MEMORIAL SERVICE

6 a.m. "American Morning" (CNN) kicks off with Kiran Chetry in Los Angeles.

(I'll be sleeping, like most sane Americans.)

7 a.m. "The Early Show" (CBS) with Maggie Rodriguez and Harry Smith joins in from the Staples Center, and so does Meredith Vieira on "Today" (NBC).

(Still sleeping...hey, I'm up late...it's 3.30 am here.)

11 a.m. MSNBC has Chris Jansing reporting live.

(Working: Conference call with London office. I know -- working is something foreign to Michael Jackson and most of his fans -- but that's another story.)

12 p.m. MTV and VH1 air a collection of Jackson's greatest hits and interviews; Shepard Smith starts coverage on Fox News Channel; BET begins "Forever the King: Memorial to Michael Jackson" with celebrity guest interviews; Anderson Cooper, Larry King, Don Lemon and Soledad O'Brien are on CNN; "The Bachelor" host Chris Harris anchors on TV Guide.

(Working: I have a day job, and it's 10-12 hours a day.)

MEMORIAL SERVICE

1 p.m. The service at the Staples Center has no end time, but some are projecting 2:30 p.m.; networks and channels airing the service include ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox, CNN, CNN Headline News, Fox News Channel, E!, TV Guide, TV One, MTV, VH1, VH1 Classic, VH1 Soul, Telemundo and Univision.

(Still working. What? You think I'm gonna turn this crap on? No way...I'm turning on CSPAN and hope to catch New York's Rep Peter King say something about MJ.)

POST-MEMORIAL SERVICE

6:30 p.m. "CBS Evening News With Katie Couric" has coverage, as does "Nightly News With Brian Williams" (NBC).

(While savoring a nice thick steak, I'll tune in Fox News to watch coverage of the riots.)

9 p.m. "20/20" (ABC) has a special edition hosted by Diane Sawyer and Barbara Walters.

(I'll be watching Hannity. Nuff said.)

10 p.m. "Primetime: Family Secrets" (ABC) focuses on the custody battle over Jackson's children with Debbie Rowe; "On the Record with Greta Van Susteren" (Fox News Channel) reports from Los Angeles; Lester Holt reports on "Dateline" with reaction from fans.

(Greta? Nope...will be watching Larry Kudlow on the TIVO.)

Doesn't anyone else think this whole MJ thing is a waste of time?
These folks need to get jobs...jeez, we could take unemployment back below 5%.